When Russell Wilson came out in July of this year and said he and girlfriend Ciara are abstaining from sex until marriage they were met with a resounding, “huh?”
And just last week, former footballer and funnyman Terry Crews told HuffPost that he and his wife completed a 90-day “sex fast,” which got us thinking maybe these guys are on to something.
Those three months, Crews says, left him "more in love" and "more turned on" than ever. “…no sex, all relationship, all talk, all cuddle," he added. "I found that at the end of that 90 days ... I knew who she was, and it wasn't about 'Let's go out because I know I'm gonna get some sex later.' It was like, 'Let's go because I want to talk to you. I want to know you'."
For some people, sex helps them connect with their partner and for other people, they need to feel connected with their partner to desire sex, explains Megan Fleming, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and relationship therapist. Crews identifies with the latter.
"You're not looking for porn,” he said. “You're looking for someone to know you and love you at the same time. That's all you want—every man out there. But he's scared sometimes. That's why men put up big fronts."
If you’re still not convinced a so-called sex fast is for you, we outlined some of the reasons and benefits with Fleming’s advice.