Our recent sex poll found that up to 80% of women have trouble achieving an orgasm. What gives? Most likely, there's one of two reasons she may not be having as much fun as she claims to be. Fix 'em — and you'll both benefit.
THE PROBLEM IS IN: Her Head
Unlike men, who can get aroused in the midst of a hurricane, women have trouble getting turned on when their minds are filled with too many matters that have nothing to do with you. "Women fall into a trancelike state during orgasm," says Ian kerner, Ph.D., the author of She Comes First. "That brain 'deactivity' is necessary to female orgasm."
HOW YOU CAN HELP: Encourage her to fantasize. Daydreaming about sex will replace what's in her head with images that may help prep her for climaxing. A glass of wine and a sensual massage will also help to slow down her thoughts and eliminate anything except what she's feeling.
THE PROBLEM IS IN: Her Anatomy
If you suspect that her usual thrash and groan are all theatrics, it's probably due to the fact that penetration is not her best means to "the end." It's nature's cruel joke, but the source of her orgasm lies due north — at her clitoris.
HOW YOU CAN HELP: "Pick positions that will provide persistent stimulation, like having her on top or the missionary position, where you're both focused on deep penetration with lots of pelvis-to-clitoris pressing," says Kerner. If that still doesn't have her hitting the high notes, try inducing a sex toy before or during the act. That should leave her vibrating and eager for another go.