You're fit—and strong. And when it comes to bedding your girl, you nail it fast and hard, just the way she likes it.
Problem is, it's not the way she loves it. Learn more about the slow groove, and you may just realize what women have known for years—slow sex is better.
Why she likes it slow
Just because a woman is wet, that doesn't mean she's near climax. A good rule of thumb: Take the amount of time you think she needs, and double it. If she's ready sooner, you'll know it. Synchronicity is overrated. We girls don't care when we have an orgasm—as long as we get one. The longer you stimulate us—and the slower you take things—the more likely that becomes.
Hell, sex is fun. You rush through the workday and always try to be efficient, but when it comes to play—any kind of play—make it count. She needs the break and pleasure as much as you do.
Why you'll benefit from taking your time
- Men need more time to recover from sex than women do. It's called a "refractory period," and there's little you can do to speed it up. Meaning, if you get off quickly, that's it—end of show.
- Sex is better than Tylenol. According to Annie Sprinkle, Ph.D., a porn star/prostitute turned sexed educator, sex promotes the production of pain-reducing compounds called neuropeptides.
- Two words: stronger orgasms. The slower you take things, and the more times you get close to the edge without going over, the more powerful the release will be when you finally climax.
Foolproof pointers for lengthening your lovemaking time
- Do reps. The stronger the muscles that control your orgasm are, the longer you'll last during sex, according to sex therapist Barbara Keesling, Ph.D. To strengthen them, contract the muscles you use to stop urinating for two seconds and release. Repeat 20-60 times daily.
- Take deep breaths during sex. Forget reciting baseball stats. If you want to last longer, you need to slow your breathing down when you are close to ejaculating. Focusing on how quickly you inhale and exhale can help you avoid climaxing before you're ready.
- Alternate strokes. While women just have one G-spot, men have the equivalent of two: one near the prostate, and one on top of the penis, just below the head. That's why it's important to alternate between long and short strokes. You'll last longer, excite her, and get the extra stimulation you might otherwise have missed banging it like a jackhammer.