Someone get me Webster. It's time to re-think the definition of Empty Nest.

First, let's stop calling it a syndrome. Sounds like a horror-movie plague—like The Blob.

The dictionary folks call it an "emotional letdown often experienced by Empty Nesters." ENs being Mom and Dad, who remain behind as our children head to college and on with the rest of their lives.

Well, let me be clear: I can't wait for my kids to get outta here!

Yes, I love my kids. LOVE them. My son, 16, is a joy. Watching him grow and mature is a true blessing. And my 13-year-old daughter, well, she's 13; I love her anyway.

But four years from now when I'm counting down the weeks until she packs her trunk and ships it (and herself) off to Stanford (no pressure, baby girl), I will be one happy man.

Suuuuure, some of you are probably thinking, you say that now. But once I leave her standing at the door of her college dorm I'll turn to mush.

Okay, maybe. But I'll get over it. Trust me.

In fact, I'm already starting to prepare for it. But rather than lamenting the day when I won't experience that little snide, dismissive look every single day, I'm starting to ponder the upside—the things we'll be able to do once she and her brother are g-o-n-e!


Roy S. Johnson
Men's Fitness
Editor In Chief