When the Bengals helped the Buffalo Bills make the postseason for the first time in 17 years by beating the Baltimore Ravens, the Bills returned the favor by sending the Bengals a massive gift of 1,440 authentic Buffalo wings from Duff's, a local chain restaurant famed for its hotter-than-hot buffalo wings.
A quick recap: The Bills had won in Week 17 to keep their AFC playoff hopes alive, but a win wasn’t enough—the team needed the Baltimore Ravens to lose. Enter Andy Dalton and Taylor Boyd of the Bengals. Down 27-24 with just 44 seconds left and one final play left on fourth down, the Bengals pulled off the stunning come-from-behind victory with a 49-yard touchdown pass from Dalton to Boyd. The Bills were watching from their own locker room, while fans all over Western New York rejoiced in excitement after ending the longest playoff drought in the four major sports.
Here's a look at the order from Duff's:
Our friends at Duff’s are hitting the road to Cincinnati tonight with:
90 lbs of celery
30 lbs of carrots
6 gallons of blue cheese
9 gallons of Duff’s wing sauce
And a TON of thank you’s from Buffalo! #GoBills
See you soon, @Bengals! pic.twitter.com/ijYi9m8r1y
— Buffalo Bills (@buffalobills) January 5, 2018
Now, the Bills are preparing for the Jacksonville Jaguars in the AFC Wild Card Round of the playoffs, while the Bengals are scarfing down hot wings.
So, like the nutrition-obsessed dudes we are, we started wondering: What are the macros in that massive list of food?
We decided to break it down.
Cincinnati Wingfest 2018: the methodology
First, we needed to compile some data from the USDA National Nutrient Database. We don't have access to Duff's secret chicken recipe, so we referenced the USDA's general nutritional information for general fried, breaded chicken wings. We also went with the general USDA entry for regular commercial blue cheese dressing, raw celery, and raw carrots, and a look at the nutritional info for the Duff's Famous Buffalo Wings Hot Sauce, courtesy of Amazon.
1,440 chicken wings =
17.65kg (38.91lbs) of protein
16.78kg (36.99lbs) of fat
9.346 kg (20.60lbs) of carbs
6 gallons of blue cheese dressing =
0.316kg (0.7lbs) of protein
17.66kg (38.93lbs) of fat
1.099kg (2.423lbs) of carbs
9 gallons of Duff’s wing sauce =
0 protein, fat, or carbs, BUT 460.8g (roughly 1lb) of sodium in total.
90lbs of celery =
281.66g (0.6lbs) of protein
69.39g (0.15lbs) of fat
1,212.35g (2.67lbs) of carbs
30lbs of carrots =
126.5g (0.27lbs) of protein
32.64g (0.071lbs) of fat
1,302.9g (2.87lbs) of carbs
Side note: Yes, your body only gets about 3.5lbs of useable macronutrients out of 90lbs of celery. The rest is basically water.
Oh, and by the way: The Seattle Mariners are now owners of the longest playoff drought in any of the four major North American pro sports. Should a team ever find themselves securing a playoff berth for the Mariners, maybe they could look forward to a few pounds of roasted, spiced grasshoppers—the macros on those are much better.