Eyebrows

Unibrows and bushy eyebrows haven’t been in since the New Deal. Trimming with scissors is mandatory.

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Ear and Nose

Your nose hair should always be well trimmed. Ear hair is banned until retirement.

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Armpits

Unless your pits look like a budding Amazon forest (complete with wildlife), keep the machete away.

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Arms

You’d better be an ape to consider it.

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Chest

A shaved chest can be a plus, so go for it. Step 1: More chest flyes at the gym.

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Back

There’s (probably) a fetish for hairy backs, but generally it’s not considered very attractive. Minimize ASAP.

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Crotch

No, a clean-shaven crotch is not “in.” Keep all lower-carriage hair at a length less than an inch.

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Legs

If it’s not beach season, if you’re not a pro swimmer or soccer player, or if you have unforgiving friends, leave this area untouched.

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Feet

You’re probably a Hobbit. (But seriously, they’re just feet. Nobody cares.)

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