I think my girlfriend’s reading my texts—how can I find out? And please don’t tell me I should ask her, she’ll just say I don’t trust her.  Alex A., Butte, MT

Moushumi Ghose, MFT, psychotherapist/sex therapist: If you don’t ask her, you’re not giving her a chance to be honest, or allowing room for communication and trust to grow. If you want to stay in this relationship but you don’t want to discuss it, then you have no choice but to trust her and let it go. 

Jena Friedman, writer/stand-up comic: Well, it sounds like you don’t trust her, but fine, don’t be a mature adult and talk to her about it. So let’s have fun with this one: How about you text your most trusted friend some cool but also superspecific things about her, like, “I love when she makes me chocolate chip-coconut cookies” and “She’s so cute when she sticks her pinkie up my butt.” If you wake up to fresh cookies and butt stuff, then you’ll know the truth.