"My girlfriend is interested in trying anal sex. Do you have any tips for how to start out? Also, I get the part about doing it to her, but if I let her do it to me—and I like it—should I question my sexuality?" - Les R., New Orleans, LA
DR. NELSON: If you’re both open to anal sex, start in the spoon position, both lying on your sides, with you behind her. Using lots of lube, slowly and gently stimulate the area with your finger as you kiss her neck and whisper sweet, sexy things.
When you’re both stimulated, try entering her slowly but not deeply, then let her control the depth. Never go too fast or deep without warming her up to the idea first. If you or she can also stimulate her clitoris with a vibrator, that can help with her arousal.
Done right, anal sex doesn’t have to hurt. Start slow. Work up to it. Communicate.
DR. AARON: First, anal sex has nothing to do with being gay. Homosexuality is an attraction to the same sex, not a bunch of sex techniques aimed at the anus—many hetero men engage in anal play, and many gay men don’t.
For you, I suggest starting out slowly, your girlfriend using lube and her finger (be sure her nails are trimmed); she can make a “come hither” motion to stimulate the prostate, which many men enjoy.
Then, if you like, you can ramp up to other objects, like a small “starter” dildo made for beginners.